#ive been thinking abt these 2 all day help me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

art-o-gant · 2 months ago

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blorbos from my cut epic the musical songs

#exposing myself as an epic fan (i have posted epic art before but i deleted it. alas!)#ive been thinking abt these 2 all day help me #perimedes #elpenor #sure i will tag this as #elperimedes #epic the musical #epic the musical fanart #art tag #my prognosis is. negative two notes #my head hurts so bad

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dizzybizz · 9 months ago

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sleepy gill and gill with the bubbled evil cat

#hi remember when i thought i was in for a really bad bout of hsr fixation. lets see how thats going.. lets just check in and #oh . oh no. oh this was. this wasnt the plan. oh no #just roll with it #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #gill in pjs got to me ok. gill fighting in pjs got to me. the thought of gill sleeping in a barrel of water with pjs on got to me.#wheni tell you this fkn podcast is the only thing ive been thinking abt for the past few days dude what thef uck #theyre all so stupid they get up to so much bs its fkn great i lvoe the three of them so mcuh WHEHhghh >:'O #my art #i keep nearly forgetting that tag help???#ive slowly been getting used to drawing them jsut you wait til i feel good abt the designs n shit ok its gonna be epic or smth #oop s its 1am soon whoopsies ehehee but like ..... the dumbasses... theyre in my head..#there are so many stupid scenes i want to draw 😭😭😭😭😭#im sorry to. my friends. for jsut . yknow. and everyone really #i wasnt ready for this 😭 idk what happened i just started going through eps so quickly all of a sudden and ive gone through like 12 eps in #2-3 days and i feel absolutely insane and i think abt them so much. theyve taken up all my time help

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spaciebabie · 1 year ago

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hmm okay but like imagine. springtrap is in every sort of pain you can imagine daily. physical, emotional, spiritual, mental, and he spent 30 years trapped in a broom closet so bro is probably very mentally unstable. so like. imagine how he would feel upon receiving affection for the first time in all those years. i think his brain would explode. all this agony that he walks around with daily, and then one day hes given a hug and the gentle press of another person against him. holding him. makes him feel sturdy even though he's basically falling apart. maybe a quiet remark of fondness particularly stabs him in the chest. i mean, he would come undone. he hasnt felt good like this in years.

he wouldnt be able ta get enough of this good feeling. seeking out physical affection whenever he can, even when its just from brushing past each other or fingertips lingering for a split second. always needing ta be near. finding solace in being an arms length away. the praise he would try ta draw out. "hey look at this thing i did i truly am the best at this sort of thing," the way he would cherish being spoken about in any positive manner. just the way it would feel so good ta have someone give him some much needed attention and praise. and ta feel such positive emotions abt and around them in return. the way that even with all the agony he experiences he is blessed to be afforded a single break from all of it. if only for a moment, to feel it all melt away...

#all of this is ta say that i think um #im bleeding from my eyes #guuuuuuhhhh #uhm and also that i think that he would be obsessed with being around someone who could #make him feel such...for lack of a better word‚#pleasure not only physically but emotionally too!!!!#spacie spoinks #i think that after that long of being tortured day in and day out a simple hug would make him see stars #you know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sorry im soft rn #hhhh #him.#ive been thinking abt this for days someone help me #he would be such.....a cuddle bunny......#im going 2 die. i think im really gonna die this time.

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lemongogo · 11 months ago

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can i ask.how u guys practice ur creativity <3 how u practice ur imagination or like.. how u experiment with ur art, how u come to ideas and how u develop them.<3 pretty please <3

#smthing i have always struggled w.is feeling like i can only draw things that r handed 2 me.#as in.an idea or concept that already exists #chara or conflict that already exists.Scene that alr exists.#and i think it can be soo limiting bc when i have that sort of creative desire but nothing 2 reflect off of it #i feel like im unable to do anything/get anywhere bc im unable to do that mental legwork myself ykwim #like comic artists r SOOO JAW DROP INSPIRING TO MEE bc not only are u envisioning ur own sequences/situations #but u are able to imagine even the most MUNDANE interactions within those scenarios u know #like the transitory panels and the quiet moments and the every day stillness #and i feel like.its not even a poor attempt on my behalf its like.i cant Even attempt it.like my brain is soo empty #and soo static and noiseless that i am like gauhh......#i can practice lines all day long and practice colors and practice anatomy or Whatever bc its something concrete #and its in front of me and i can pry apart the physical technicalities until i understand it better #but my MIND???ABSTRACTION>? THOUGHTS .ough its so hard #and i really want to push past that but i dont know how and its so .. demoralizing to think that ill get there One Day but i feel #one million and two days away.and not making active process towards it.#i know the first step is to build ur visual library and i feel liek. idk i FEEL LIKEEE theres more 2 it that im missing #but also im depressed as hell n my job is killing my creative drive and the seasonal stuff isnt helping #so maybe i just need 2 give it time (true) but i also like.man i dont know. i want 2 do something w my hands #but everything ive been doing so far has felt soo .hard and fruitless and i definitely dont want 2 turn art into such a stressful thing #fruitless as in like.i dont get any personal satisfaction w it.idgaf abt monetization or algorithms or any of tht #but smtimes thats just what happens and i have 2 weather through and know ill be more equipped 4 this some other time #SAWRYYY IM ALWAYS GOING ON AND ONNN im nromal im normal<3 i just rly like art and it sucks balls whn it feels out of reach #sigh cry fart scroll.(:salute:)

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motherforthefamicom · 10 months ago

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aww the skrungkly ☺️ double tap now to scrunkly the when 💕💕

#HELP #appreently i neverposted this last times i was able 2 post art #this is frm december . just been sitting in my drafts…. lol #scribbles #eyestrain #<- i think #giegue #thats all ill tag probbaly idk #i dont jnow why im so intimidated by the thought of tagging mother stuff but uhhhhh yeah #<- i say as if ive even posted a fraction of the stuff ive drawn. lmao #anyways. love this thang #smthn abt his boss fight in the first game just captivated me idk why #like its no where near as crazy as eb’s is but i keep thinking abt it #also his design is so silly hes just this fucking. Thing #edit from a few days later im tagging stuff now fuck yuooooo #mother 1 #earthbound zero #mother series #earthbound beginnings

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monachopism · 5 months ago

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am i autistic or am i just paranoid. level: impossible

#seeing a friend of mine for the first time in 2 years but it was at a 9hr work training and i barely talked to him the whole time #so i text our gc multiple times bc im excited #but everyones drained from the day #so am i being a good loving kind person or am i being annoying as hell #my brain says the first one and my gut says the second #i also might have a big fat crush on this man (he is unfairly attractive and kind and funny and TALL)#so i may be overreacting bc of that #i just missed him and now my big fat crush on him is bigger and fatter than ever #at the end of our first summer he hugged me tight and told me he loved me (platonically)#then he asked if i was coming back and i said yes without any hesitation #and then he didnt come back #so ive been going on 2 years of stewing in this fucking crush soup and now im just #tumblr is the only place where i can talk abt this no one important in my life can know this #no one #i just really like him #and i wanna be around him all the time #and i wanna sit with him and talk to him and laugh with him #and help him with stuff #and i have not had an actual crush on someone since my sophomore and junior year of high school #which was 4 and 5 years ago at this point #this guy also kept staring at me from across the room and everytime i would glace in his direction he would look away #and every time i would get a glimpse of him at training i could physically feel the butterflies #hell #every time i even thought about the fact that we were in the same general area i would get butterflies #this never happens to me and its such a weird feeling #would you be so kind by dodie is the anthem of the hour rn #and i know there's a huge part of me that thinks i am unlovable bc of how i look #and ive never had anyone love me or even like me enough to initiate any kind of anything #ive been on one date in my life #never been kissed never had sex

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago

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...

#head instructor to the TAs in the lab section i TA for: how r u guys feeling abt the workload?#me who hasnt graded anything since week 1 and spent an hr that morning filling out a patient safety plan: 🙃#listen. we r experiencing symptoms that make us shitty at our job. which is not helpful for a positive outlook #i was also experiencing horrible cramps at the time bc i lost my ibuprofen and 2 days ago i stopped the birth control in a desperate effort #to stop feeling terrible. but in this moment i feel alright. its wild to go from drastically unhappy to like lol wtf was that? anyway stop #being a bby loser. for no obvious reason. im gonna start the birth control again to see if i get depressed again or if that was just me lol #i dont think my therapist understands the depth of my executive functioning issues tho. bc im a grad student and can meet deadlines. like #let me tell u im a fucking disaster abt starting things. i will go back and forth and get nothing done forever. or i do things halfway and #make everything 30 times more difficult later bc no one else understands how my brain works #ah well. itll b fine. sometimes i just get freaked out that i wanna b better and i dont kno how to do that. so i spiral in despair a lil #ill b fine. im good at catching myself before i get too out of control. annoyingly tho i am not currently beating the bip0lar allagations #bc whatever tf is wrong with me i do probably fit the diagnostic criteria for bip0lar 2. i dont kno y that freaks me out so much. i guess #its bc it feels like something i cant just make better thru force of will and i grew up in a home that was very obsessively #health conscious to the point my dad gets anxious abt taking a single ibuprofen. so like ive been conditioned to get freaked out by #medication. literally my grandma will call me and tell me to b suspicious of doctors and to not take medicine unless absolutely necessary.#like lady u r the genetic reason i have 0cd shut the fuck up. also it feels like something that would more negatively affect how ppl think #of u than saying oh yea i get depressed or i have anxiety. like the connotation feels worse im used to just telling ppl whatever tf #my problem is. so the idea of holding something back feels weird. which annoys me bc i dont think there should b so much of a stigma. its #bullshit. anyway idk. im tired. i was trying to think of a comfort tv show with my therapist and all i could think was the terror #when im depressed i wanna watch those English mother fuckers suffer and die. i just lov that show so much. harry g00dsir my beloved. the #most me coded character to ever exist #unrelated

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kingtankgirl · 1 year ago

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i know i say rhis constantly but wow i am so at my breaking point

#my grandma is about 2 die so my moms mental health is gonna tank so hard. which is already is #and i cant help her cuz i dont live there anymore but god this holiday season is going to fucking suck #my chronic pain is getting worse. ive been barely eating for the last month cuz i just have no interest in food basically at all #broke down sobbing yesterday because it hurt so bad just trying to put my laundry away cuz my job is tearing my body apart #idk. i thought i wld be able to quit in a month or two but now i cant.#i dont have a light at the end of the tunnel at this point. nothing makes me happy im always hungry and in pain and fucking sad <3 #so i guess ill just sit here and cry and then go work for 8 hrs and think abt kms the whole time like i do most days

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arowrath · 2 years ago

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👍🌟

#text #my body's been doing this thing recently where i like. almost but not quite fall asleep sitting up in the middle of doing shit #like i'll be on the swings and suddenly i cant like. keep my eyes open or keep swinging or hold myself up all the way #& today when i was getting my hair cut i felt like i was going to fall asleep and i was trying to keep my eyes open but i had like #black spots in my vision & i couldnt See for a minute #& it lasts for like. 5 minutes and its happening once or twice a day #also ive been getting enough sleep. so whats up with that #and ive also been taking naps like every single day 7ish hours after getting up cuz thats when my body like #gives up and is like. you cant do ANYTHING but lie in bed until u sleep. godbless!#so that's fun. the nearly falling asleep thing is new i think i dont remember this happening before #being just so so tired always is not new. im used 2 that <3 #it's fun ! i love being a human person with a body #anyway. maybe typing it out will help me remember to like. ask someone abt it idk

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nomairuins · 2 months ago

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and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do

#im not smart or talented or hot enough to have a source of income working from home.#i dont have a ged or a kicense or a way to get to work or much experience + ive got a steadily fucking growing gap in my employment history.#And i have essentially 0 social skills i barely Function half the time im dissociated or just crying. im weak and out of shape and #not pretty im like. unhireable i think . and again even if a place did hire me I dont have a way to fucking get 2 work #i might be able to walk 2 a place if i had been at work for a while bc if be more used to being on my feet and active again. its take a #while and id be in a Lot of pain but like. itd be doable. and once i worked for s bit i could get lyfts even tho Expensive also idk that #there as many drivers here. and wtvr. but if i did that itd be Less money to help my family and less money to save up toget my own place and #atp maybe its selfish of me to want my own place and i need to judt be more grateful im allowed 2 stay here . yk #idk. im so tired i just need like. idk. ik the only way is to just get through it and get a job and make it work but it feels so pointless #everything always does. i cant keep getting over hurdles man im so fucking tired of getting through hurdles #every single day is Difficult and every single day is the Same and any time j manage to have a good day ill just go right back to feeling #exactly the same. and even if it looks like everythings better for a bit it all goes back down eventually and ik im supposed to be like But #itll get better again after that <3 ups and downs are a part of life <3 we have to have the bad to appreciate the good <3 im just fucking #sick of the goddamn bad im fucking sick of it ive had enough bad i want good. ik other ppl deserve it more i want everybody to have good #days and be safe and happy i don't want things to keep getting worse but everything just gets worse and all the good parts r tempirary and #im so tired. I am not your strongest soldier bro !!!#idk. i just want to be atable i dont need anything crazy i just want my family to live comfortably and to have enough money that i can #donate i rly donot need much i dont need that much food 2 survive i dont need a ton of space i dont need a nide house i like. i just want to #be Stable and know that everything will be ok. yk. at least 4 my family i want them all to be able to eat and the bills 2 be paid and #hopefully for lamp and the kids 2 go to college. bc lamp and tag both want to go to college and itsy is 6 so he soesnt care #but i want them to be able to so bad bc i can't and i ws never gonna be able to and i dont get to be whiny abt that but like. they want to #and theyre smart and passionate and like. i want them to be able to achieve their dreams and get to have normal lives and be fulfilled and #happy. yk. idk. annie showed me her schoolwork the other day and since it wa first week at like. an alt school it ws a lot of personality #type stuff and mental health stuff and im not gonna get into it bc its not mine to tell but. their answers for one of the things made me so #upset bc it sounded so much like me when i was their age and even now and it makes me feel so guilty that like. i didnt make it better for #them. im the one whos supposed to endure it and then theyre supposed to get to be happy but im too fuckinf weak nowadays and i can't keep #any of them safe or happy and i feel so insanely useless. i hate it i just want to be useful idc anymore like. i want to be good i want to #be helpful i want to be cared abt and its so selfish bc a part of me is like. Ohh wahhh we shouldnr have to do all that to be cared abt wahh #and its dumb bc Yes i do its my job. it just fucking sucks rn bc like i have all the like. sorrow over this being what i have to do and this #is my lot in life but i also have all the guilt over how im not doing it bc km lazy and selfish and i cant just work bc im . Ugh

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coridallasmultipass · 6 months ago

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#hfffffff okay i spent fucking hours rambling in that ao3 comment lmao i wanted to apologize for that but #i dont wanna give the author a reason to reply or guilt them into reading the whole thing lol #i hate having anxiety #bc it means sometimes i cant be like 'haha that was hot' without feeling like im not doin my job as a reader #but then when i start writing a longer comment i gotta give reasons why i liked something #and before u know it im typing my whole lifes story and thats a book no one wants to read. least of all in the comments on their 50k fic #i took out so many paragraphs and revised it no less than 20 times but probably more i wasnt counting #i dont think ive ever put a comment that long but it required backstory to explain something and also how i was surprised at #...being sold in the first chapter when i was already predisposed to not wanna read the fic in the first place #god its fucking 130am ive been typing for hours #sleep has not occurred to me bc ive been in 'middle of a task' mode since like 8pm #anxiety really is a motherfucker lmao ughhhhhhh #fuckin verbose as hell lmao hate that abt myself no one wants to read my essays lol #shouldve spent at least 3 of those hours workin on my fics but alas i have time blindess and only saw 2 time jumps #anyway gonna hope my sleeping pills kick in fast #lol its probably pain. the reason why im so on edge for the past few days and especially today since i couldnt really relax #i hate being so anxious all the time but what can i do lol nothing has helped me long term #oh here we fucking go lmao im writing another essay in the tags yeah i gotta hit the pen or something to chill or the pills aint gonna help #delete later / /#i swear i dont mean to but i blink and ive written an essay it happens without doing it consciously

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evvlogetarian · 1 year ago

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Man I am not looking forward to the fact I've got 3 back to back exams coming up ...and two of them are for a class I'm worried about like...fuck idk...and it sucks cus I've had a lot of ppl reaching out to me lately wanting to hang out or talk and it's like I don't have it in me for small conversation sorry... T_T why is being an adult so hard I feel like I can never fully achieve balance between work-school-personal...ykwim...but also I'm a chronic overworker...I can't ever Relax ...

#.personal rambles #Im not vaguing anyone here i just feel bad cus like i get messages from irls and its like...yeah I dont have as many classes this sem but...#Im just...exhausted like Im getting a headache just thinking abt all the shit I need to do and it doesnt help that my therapist is kinda #getting on me abt trans stuff like...I wish I had the luxury of just being able 2 go ahead but...money and family...#Like thats another thing that feels so isolating...and I already feel unbearably lonely and distant from every1...#Enough woe is me I just havent been feeling very well lately and I feel like Ive been bubbling over...#Like I feel this weight and i fear that one day Im going 2 just snap from my reality...whatever that means #and I am not looking forward to it cus again I dont ! have! the luxury!#I always have to be the perfect role model the perfect son the perfect brother the perfect employee the perfect student...#like I feel like I have no room for error n everytime I try and talk to someone abt how I feel they ignore me or try and “one up” me #Or they treat me like I want attention or its not that bad or Oh wow youre so strong V youll get thru it...#t_t idk Ive been having an awful time lately...#ANYWAYS! sorry yall

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spaciebabie · 7 months ago

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does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.